I been trying put my self in the mood to make Y T videos. I have ideas for videos but my mind been on other things right now. I still trying get my self to work on my story's but no luck on that so far.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
I miss the day when I didn't feel any thing. I could use any one and not feel bad about it. now I can't sleep with any body without falling in love with them. I'm sick of feeling any thing for any one that don't feel any thing for me. I think I do that cause I don't want get hurt by any one and I like the game
Monday, November 8, 2010
I don't know how deal with The guy I like Issues in his life. I don't know if he mean thing he says or trying get a reaction from who read any thing he post online. I don't want say any thing and look like ass. I'm scared for him but I should listin to the voice in my head tells me not worry about him he be ok. He not going to kill him self just cause he sad I been my self and never try to kill my self there is time in my life I wish was dead but never did any thing to make come true cause I know wont fix any thing or undo any bad things that happen. No matter how I want give up on life I can't cause be like saying FUCK YOU MOMMY That be wrong of me to do that to her she give up her last good day for me to live this is how repay her not living my life
Thursday, November 4, 2010
It been hard for me. I don't know any more what to do with my self. I been trying to starting writing again but every time I do sit down and write I can't think when I try to reading my story I'm working on to help me get idea it didn't work for me. I wish some one help me I feel so alone here I have no one to talk. I fuck up and start to liking some one online. I know why I waste my time with bull shit it never works for me but I keep doing that to my self knowing the guy I like never like me back now I pick guy I never meet in person. theres some thing about him I wish I know what it is that make me like him so much like I do. It hurts me for him think bad of me. It's hard for me to deal with it when his tweet to me calling me a psycho its like getting hit in the face every I see it I know how to deal with it I wish I cloud change his mind get him to take the time to know me better. I don't know how to talk to people I all ways say the wrong thing at the wrong time I get scare I put my foot in my mouth and start talking about some thing I don't know nothing bout and I piss people off